Jun 30, 2008

blessed

i have again realized that i am so blessed.

sometimes, maybe most the time, i complain about how crappy my life is and how unfortunate i am. i whine and ramble about how unfair and cruel life and this world is to me. i have so many things to complain and tattle about yet somewhere, someone is wishing to live even a day of the life i am living. somewhere, someone is wishing to be able to eat the food i am eating, to feel the good clothes behind my back, and the list goes on and on.

you see, sometimes we complain so much that we have forgotten that not all people are privileged to live a life like ours. we can spend money and the money we don't have as if it's the end of the world; we shop, we eat at fancy restos, we have night-outs with friends, watch movies and etc...and still we complain. although it is human nature that we are not contented with what we have, still we have to think that somewhere people are dying because of hunger. that somewhere, some people don't have roofs above their heads and consider the ground as their bed --- that for others, what we have would be luxury for them.

and this is what i am thankful for.

Jun 8, 2008

turning point?

i've always wanted to be a doctor. i want to save lives, i want to help people; i don't really care if it would take me more years of studying --- i want to be one.

yes, being a nurse may sound like being a doctor --- you get to hold the chart, you get to take care of the sick; it may sound a little bit alike, but it's really different. way different. although i'm a nurse, i'm really not into the white uniform nurses wear, i still envy wearing the white coat.

but sadly, things seem not what i expect them to be. i guess this is god's plan for me. maybe med school can wait. what i'm going through right now is quite a sacrifice --- giving up my dream/s to help my extended family. it's not as easy as i think it would be; i really want to help my cousins, the thing is i need to give up what i want to help them.

if it's for me, then it's for me... it just makes me sad...

Jun 4, 2008

mixed nuts

after being quarantined in a dormitory for the board exam, i am home. i arrived hours ago.

i missed, i miss a lot...


for almost 2 months, i missed going outside. i missed having coffee with my friends, bar-hopping: sipping cocktails, and meeting new people; shopping and just doing nothing.

for 2 months, i have learned to adapt a lifestyle not close to mine. i have learned so much, i discovered things anew.

the lifestyle i lived for 2 months, i now miss. i miss the bell when food is being served. i miss the noisy, crazy shower rooms and of course, the people i lived with. i miss waking up to early morning mass, i miss closing the day with a rosary. i miss walking around the dorm's halls and seeing colleagues studying until the wee hours of the morning. i miss everything about my dorm life. miss it, miss it, miss it.

although the agony in waiting for the board exam results has just begun, i am still preoccuppied with the thought of claiming independence. i am still not prepared for an independent life; i'm not prepared to pay bills, to pay for my lifestyle, to pay for what i need and want. at this point, i don't know where to start. i don't know where i'll go from here, teehee.

dream, dream, dream. that's what i'm going to do, i think...dream, dream big.


POST SCRIPT...

friends from LGRC who are reading this, please contact me through friendster or by sending a message through this blog...thanks a lot....