Sep 27, 2008

soon

i will be back for the rest of the world to see, soon.

month after long month, i have succumbed in what was left of the misery and depression i felt. i have allowed myself to walk in a dead sleep, lost in the pitch-black darkness summoned from my own personal hell. and though it may seem that i do not care about what had happened in the recent past, though i talk about the events with a smile, i still feel a little ache inside the hollow part where my heart once was. though i act as if nothing happened, as if it were some joke that failed to shatter me, still, i feel as if the chains of the past keep pulling me back ... haunting me. i have been in a coma long enough for everyone around to anchor me to the word 'dead'.

yesterday, i woke up feeling a little alive, for the first time in a very, very long while. i felt the energy i used to have, i felt the old me resurfacing from the lonely abyss. then it came to me: that i will be whole again; very, very soon. not in any way again will i allow anyone to step on every ounce of who and what i am. no one will have any ticket to mistreat and give me grave threats again, no, i will not allow it. and, yes, not ever again will i keep everything in the recesses of my silence. my old self was strong but i will be stronger.