Nov 19, 2008

the undomestic goddess

Samantha Sweeting is not just a lawyer, but is the highest law degree of her year and the youngest ever partner at Carter Spink --- top law firm in all of Europe and the world. Yet, amidst her top city job and genius, she feels the pressure churning her life. Making her more stressful than ever; she falls out of balance and makes the biggest mistake of her career. Samantha escapes and later finds herself employed as a housekeeper. She learns things she never knew before --- laundry, cooking, dusting; she is taught to be domestic. The twist unfolds when she figures that she has been wronged by the person she trusted the most back at Carter Spink. Samantha clears her name and succeeds in doing so. Now, her firm is offering her the glory of her job back. Will she assume her dream job and experience its strains all over again, or will she make a detour in her mapped-out life? Samantha decides.

I’ve been Samantha in all the four years of my college life. I thrived in pressure. Aside from my studies, I was burdened with nail-biting extracurricular activities. And believe me when I say they were not just simple ones. They weren’t; really. To summarize the greater scheme of things, I never did enjoy my college days as a student. Instead of hanging out with friends on study-free weekends, I worked late nights to finish presentations, papers, and the like. On weekdays, I’d juggle class hours with other things-to-do and attend class with no more than 3 hours of sleep. On holidays, my mind was glued to my other responsibilities, afraid underachievement will slap me in the face in front of my superiors. Workaholic as I normally am, I progressed further than just an octave and became a nerve-wrack. My classmates would constantly tell me to get a life or give myself a break. I was Samantha, personified; only her in the early parts of the book that is. What with my Type A personality, the day I thought I’d never live to see arrived in a whiplash; and so it came, I blew way out of proportion. Right before graduation, I snapped; and my person was ricocheting revenge at me, demanding the one thing I never gave time for: rest. I realized I was detached from who I am; I have lost my self along the way in those four years. After my board exam, I permitted myself to slack. I owed it to my self.

It will be almost a year now since my coming-apart. Along the way, I have learned, unlearned and relearned. I taught myself the value of things that I once took for granted. I am healing and picking up the broken pieces of the mirror that used to reflect who I am. I admit, I’m still a little confused at the moment, but at least I am catching sight of a blur rather than total darkness. At best, there’s a fogged road and it is much better than the wilderness. I see something and it is highly preferable than nothingness itself. There is, finally, direction.