Jan 29, 2009

letters to a young poet

i have been looking all over for a copy of this book. unfortunately, up until now, i still haven't. because i really pine to read it, at the moment, i am reading excerpts and reviews to counteract the momentary hypoglycemia. i came across a writer named austin kleon --- whose site i just added to my links. his 'review' on rainer maria rilke's letters to a young poet is my favorite.

credits to austinkleon.com:

The letters aren’t really letters, they’re diaries. Rilke saw himself in Kappus, and so they’re written from Rilke to Rilke—both to his past and his present. They begin with a description of Rilke’s current setting (various cities across Europe) and continue into the subject of how to live and how to create. Each is a map of where he’s been and where he needs to go.

There’s so much to take away from the ten letters, but here’s a short-list of questions a young writer might ask, with Rilke’s responses.

Is my stuff any good? Am I good enough to really make it as writer?

[You're asking the wrong questions!] There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must,” then build your life in accordance with this necessity….

…But after this descent into yourself and into your solitude, perhaps you will have to renounce becoming a poet (if, as I have said, one feels one could live without writing, then one shouldn’t write at all). Nevertheless, even then, this self-searching that I as of you will not have been for nothing. Your life will still find its own paths from there, and that they may be good, rich, and wide is what I wish for you, more than I can say

What should I write about?

Write about what your everyday life offers you; describe your sorrows and desires, the thoughts that pass through your mind and your belief in some kind of beauty - describe all these with heartfelt, silent, humble sincerity and, when you express yourself, use the Things around you, the images from your dreams, and the objects that you remember. If your everyday life seems poor, don’t blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; because for the creator there is not poverty and no poor, indifferent place. And even if you found yourself in some prison, whose walls let in none of the world’s sounds - wouldn’t you still have your childhood, that jewel beyond all price, that treasure house of memories?

little miracle

most of the time all of us get trapped in our own little bubble of selfishness, and sometimes, for it burst, all we need is a heart-warming, tear-jerking, dagger-in-your-heart song. this epiphany dawned on me just this morning.

when i woke up, my brother had already gone to school, my sister to her debate meeting. the laptop was on --- manel had used it to play games before she left --- with the music player feeding tunes to my ears. when i finally evaded laziness, i got up and groggily went straight to the comfort room. the song "christmas shoes" by fm static (original by bob carlysle) was playing. i didn't feel like listening to it, but because i was still brushing my teeth at a snail-paced manner, and was still half-asleep, i never managed to switch songs. i had no choice but to listen.

the song's good, okay, more than good. it's why i am writing this.

to quote the chorus of the song:

sir i wanna buy these shoes for my momma, please

it's christmas eve and these shoes are just her size

could you hurry sir? daddy says there's not much time

you see she's been sick for quite a while

and i know these shoes will make her smile

and i want her to look beautiful

if momma meets Jesus, tonight

the song speaks of the things, miniscule, we absently ignore or like to ignore everyday. here are my contemplations:

i am very lucky ...

1) to live a life luxurious than others.

2) because my family is complete and whole. my parents, my siblings, and my relatives may not be perfect. but they're real. and they're here --- you know, metaphorically.

3) to have parents a million girls would die for (hehehehe *wink*).

4) to live up until this second. not all get to experience and see the world by 21. yes, i have at some point, wasted a part of my life, but i am blessed to be given another chance to correct my mistakes. the Big Guy up there has been utterly generous in lending me this life again and again - for allowing me to wake up day after day: 'one more time; change, touch a heart, inspire a soul'.

5) to have the little nudgers around me. constantly reminding me of what's important. zapping me back to reality and dodging a bullet at me everytime my head is not securely screwed on my shoulders.

miracles happen everyday. we only fail to notice them because we're too busy catching up with the world; blinded by everyday aches and miseries, and too focused on healing our wounds.

today, this song-driven realization is my little miracle. what's yours? take a look around.

have a great and blessed day everyone!


Jan 20, 2009

to the jenny humphreys

social climbing prima donnas miff me, especially when they get to my nerves. as a result, a portion of my usually optimistic spirit is marred. but, aside from the blithering bile causing the turmoil, i like it when people light up my ire untimely. it brings out my lyrical propensities. of course at first, i curse, eff and blind, and do a lot of internal bitching. but when i get a hold of my pen and journal to scribble my thoughts down, the score of the aftermath is positive. and because of the pleasant reverb my optimism is restored once again.

below is something i came up with while channeling out my angst. i don't think it's a poem, as it lacks the necessary elements. they're just phrases put together during my rage-driven impromptu writing exercise.

with the mien of a somebody

you walk and talk.

haute monde trysts

you'd die for to grace.

feigning a lifestyle of opulence

in truth an inurbane elitist.

effecting a sophisticate,

just to fit in aristocracy.

to shopping centers

you launch out like there's no morrow.

overlooking essentials

for luxury bagatelles ---

a far sight paradoxical,

you penniless materialist.

but at days end

when your facade is waning

and that maquillage ebbing,

did your efforts pay?

after all the social climbing

here you are

still not a somebody,

just the same old nobody.

but are you really happy,

glitterati wannabe?

Jan 19, 2009


this year's sinulog is my nephew, louis craig's first. watching the family's growing little bundle of joy enjoy cebu's most celebrated mardi gras was a sight beyond words. craig just turned one and because his current milestone is walking, his fanatical fascination for the sinulog street dances further made him an exceedingly handful child.

for a year-old kid, his patience was remarkable. he did not throw any tantrum while waiting for the street dancers to perform. even with the crazy crowd and bouts of slight rain, he still danced to the drumbeats. if not for his mum and everyone else worrying that he might catch a cold, he would not leave early and would've seen more of the contingents and their colorful humungous floats.

because i haven't written anything in spanish ever since i graduated from senora valencia's class, i figured i'd come up with a thing or two. the following might not be articulate, but i think it's comprehensible enough. hehehe.

tres cosas que aprendido durante el fin de semana:

1) familia más de truco con los amigos vale la pena. la sangre es más espesa que el agua.

2) la moda también debería ser funcional.

3) usted no tiene que gastar mucho para disfrutar.

this was also the first time i got to spend sinulog with my family ever since time immemorial, and it was priceless.

hoping to spend it with them next year, and the next, and the next ...

Jan 17, 2009

time killers

because i am terribly running out of books to read, i wiki-ed and did a little research on what my brain would like to munch on next. so far, i've found only two that my interest has fancied.

"notes from my travels" is a book written by actress angelina jolie. utterly, res ipsa loquitur. from the title alone, one can draw to a conclusion that the contents are realizations and lessons that the gorgeous erstwhile bad girl has benefited from touring very depressed third-world countries whilst spreading love and doing good deeds. bianca gonzalez said herself, not that we know each other, that the book is a good read. and because i like her taste, i'm going to look it up in bookstores and hopefully get to read it soon.

another quirky, witty book that my hands would love to get a hold of is "eccentric glamour" by simon doonan. fashion is not just about beautiful, trendy clothes, it's about who you are and what you're made of. the book helps women transform themselves into ladies. it gives the low-esteemed that boost of confidence needed to face the world. and best of all, the author elucidates on what proper dressing is. it's one of those books i'd die to place beside my camilla mortons.

"say no to ho and yes to eccentric glamour --- where conformity is the only crime and dressing down is the only fashion faux pas. and the only ones who care if you step out in your idiosyncratic existentialist/gypsy/classic get-up are the deeply insecure, the unclassy snobs and the pitifully narrow-minded. do you really give a hoot on what these three have to say? n-o!"

for the previous days, to beat the monotony, i submitted my self to a movie marathon. i watched disney's bolt and four christmases.

bolt was fun to watch and he's adorable too. however, aside from the minor twists: that being bolt raised to believe that he exists in a world where evil is the green-eyed man pursuing the death of penny (bolt's person, rather, owner) and her dad, it was too predictable. sans the dog's belief in its supernatural powers, it was that movie little kids would really love to dig in. i would have really, really loved it if i were within the toddler-to-prepubescent age group. but aside from my adult pride finding it too predictable and redundant, i like it nonetheless.

hands down to four christmases. it was hilarious and pure entertainment in its simple yet elaborate form. it wasn't that stereotypical movie where a couple would meet each other's crazy families and it would be the reason why a wedge between them is exponentially forming. no. it was different. different in a very realistic way.

successful people of today, and even those who are not, are dead scared of the commitment particularly brought about by marriage. and i can't see why almost everyone isn't. marriage is a hassle hamstring(s)-pulling event, the only kind there is of the marriage are the early ones, raising kids is another mind-blowing, exploding teictonic plate and further, sustaining to keep the family (and the marriage) in unity and harmony is a bumpy struggle. the repercussions of this commitment are no way near easy nor very easy. but the movie surprisingly gave that oomph of "yeah, why not?" that couples and even singles would think to consider. what it is, you'll probably want to find that out for yourself.

but, being the one-tracked me, marriage and bringing up children of my own, deserves only one answer: no. the movie did not make me reconsider my thoughts about the matter. they're pictures i can't bring to paint my self in. situations i'm not planning to delve in.

however, maybe someday someone or something will make me think otherwise. so remember this post. one day you might want to laugh at me and make me eat what i've just said.

Jan 15, 2009

this is funny

in one of loida's latest posts, she recommended a blog (and blogsite) that would guarantee the reader a whale of a time. because i was in dire need of someone or something or an event that would tickle my funny bone, i checked it. this is the particular blog:

Pag mura ang nabili na song hits

Greatest Love of All
"I decided long ago, never to walk in edu manzano..."
(I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadow)

Cry by Mandy Moore
"A walk to remember... it was late afternoon!" (I'll
always remember, it was late afternoon)

All My Life by K-ci and Jojo
"supposed to be you're like my mother,supposed to be
you're like my sister" (close to me you're like my
mother... close to me you're like my sister)

Where's the Love
"People killing, people flying, children hurt an
living, crying..." (People killing, people dying;
children hurt and you hear them crying)

Leaving on a jet plane
"so kiss me and SMAFFLE me... (so kiss me and smile
for me...)

Usher & Alicia's My Boo
"It started when we were younger you were NINE.." (It
started when we were younger you were mine)

If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys
"some people want TAMBOURINES.." (diamond rings)

Britney's Baby One More Time
"My ONLY NEST is killing me... and I........(My

Thumbthumping (Chumbawumba)
"I get knocked down by an elephant, my mommas's gonna
bring me down... " (I get knocked down, but I get up

Crush by Jennifer Paige
"i-splash, a little crush.." (it's just.. a little

Red Hot's Californication -
"Viva Californication...." (Dream of

No scrubs, TLC
"A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fine but is also
known as a BUS STOP" (buster)

Waterfalls by TLC
"Don't go JASON waterfalls..." (Chasin')

John Mayer
WONDERLAND I'll use my hands" (Body is a wonderland)

Baa Baa Black Sheep
"Baa baa black sheep, heavy on the road..."

With A Smile by Eraserheads
"lift ur HAND.. baby dont be scared.. of the things
that could go wrong along the way.. (HEAD!!!)

Wag Na Wag Mong Sasabihin by Kitchie Nadal
"maaaaaaaaaag... , magdamag mong sasabihin........"

two-trick pony by sandwich
"i have been waiting for you all night under the glow
of INSECENT LIGHT" (...under the glow of YOUR

On Bended Knees by Boyz II Men
"Oh God give me the reason, I'M DOWN... ABANDON
ME..."(I'm down on bended knee)

Red Hot's Zephyr Song
"Fly away on my CELLPHONE...I feel it more than ever"
(Fly away on my zephyr, I feel it more than ever)
may idadagdag pa:

"Nothing's gonna change my love for you... you know
NAMAN MY LOVE how much I love you..."

Anima Christi
"Soul of Christ... sat beside me..." (sanctify me! Ü)
i laughed hard while reading. really funny.

i can't believe people are publishing this crap. it seems like they made it without doubting even for once the credibility of what they are printing. don't they proof-read?

and i can't believe some people are wasting their money on buying something that obviously can't be trusted, such as this.

basing on the cover alone, you can tell which is sulit and which isn't, right?

i suggest you check the blogsite, hilaw na marinero's other posts offer sheer hilarity just like the one i re-posted (above).

thank you loids...

and thank you, hilaw na marinero at masayangsaging.blogspot.com

Jan 10, 2009

wutcha doowin?

my extended vaca in the oc went quite well. when i arrived, invites from various parties were already sprouting like wild mushrooms. it's a good thing that i bagged a couple of dresses --- the type where i would look overdressed there, but i think is pretty much normal and okay in big cities. to quote kit, "the outfit is so nice but so out of this ___ (fill in the blank: a) city or b) country); just paraphrasing, can't recall the exact words. though i try to blend in, i just can't and i don't know why. to think, my clothes are not as wow and trendy as those owned by the ladies and gents i know. so anyway, it's nice to let people see my artistic taste as it reflects the manner i clothe my self.

majority of the people there have a different translation, version, and understanding of the phrase "dressing in style" and "looking the look". take for example this student who was the lead singer of a band which was vying for first place in their college band contest. i can tell she was aiming for the rocker chick look, but she got it wrong, sadly --- no pun intended. she was sporting a black tee, paired with a denim mini and can you believe it, black stockings. stockings. i am not familiar with the rules on how to look the rocker chick look, but i know for sure that the black stockings looked ultra vile. it was bunching up in the wrong places, really; and the girl owns a pair of long legs - sayang. when going for the look, my advice would be: black leggings or tights. one tv character who has a touch of rock in her style is 90210's silver. her style is worth bench-marking, but not copying. style is you with a little help and guidance from magazines, stylists and tv to make the overall look acceptable and presentable.

my current favorite disney cartoon series is phineas and ferb. i find the duo cute and funny in a geeky kind of way. but my favorite character is isabella; she has a crush on phineas and visits almost everyday. she is the leader of a girlscout group that is always helping phineas and ferb with their inventions. aside from the beautiful name, isabella has this flirty line that is kiddily tame: "hi phineas, wutcha doowin?". just adorable. parents should let their kids watch the show as it encourages children to explore the deep sea of their imaginatve creativity. it sparks children's innovative side and clearly sends the message: no to procrastination.

the new tyra bankable productions reality tv series, stylista, is drool-worthy. it is the offspring of prada (the devil wears prada) and the apprentice. it is the devil wears prada in the flesh. the prizes at stake are plain jaw-droppers, for me that is. because if you win, you get a junior editorial assistant post at the posh publication elle magazine, a manhattan pad and a year of clothing allowance from h&m. to become a writer claims the number two spot in my dream list; and to be precise, that dream is to become a writer for a fashion mag. i know, andrea sachs-ish and/or prada-ish, but really, it's a job a million girls like me would die for ... at least for now.

the movie theater in ormoc is as big as usc's cafa theater. no joke, it is. loida and i went to watch twilight, again, there, for our version of limited-time-fun. so we were there enjoying the middle part of the movie, glued to our seats, giggling and giddy as school girls when all of a sudden ... bam! the power went off. brown-out. great. just great. it was my first time to experience brown-out in a theater. and here's more. there were two guys sitting on our left; one went, "nah! sugod napud ta sinugdanan ani", then his companion said, "di bay oy, naa pud na sila'y fast forward". okayyyy. ever heard of film rolls and strips? that was also a first. rewind to approximately 30 minutes before the brown-out and the two guys, our 'seatmates' were a throng of male class-cutting, pre-pubescent high school idiots who couldn't wait for certain scenes to come. they were all prattling about the key kissing and baseball scenes. when the kissing finally came, they were all like "juniors pa na hah, pareha ra edad nato", and i was like, "hello?! they're juniors, yeah, but not your age and definitely not as nonsensical and naive as you are. haven't you heard, in other countries particularly the us, kids get out of high school at the age of 18? Grrr". now, fast forward to 10 minutes after the brown-out. in the baseball scene there was a part where rob's face was focused, when this close-up came, a girl in the front row took out her camera phone and took a photo of the big screen. shockingly, yes, she took a photo. loida went, "haven't you heard of the internet, search and download? usb?! ugh." sheesh, another first.

for christmas, i bought my nephew and godson, louis craig a.k.a froggy, a sponge bob onezy. it fit him well; he looked uberly cuddly and funny in the suit. for a one year-old kid, he is smart; he saw lola's container of assorted biscuits so he placed my aunt's hand over the cover and motioned her to open it. maybe he remembered how the biscuits tasted so yummy the first time he rummaged the colorful container a few days back. the sight was really entertaining. that was only one event that hinted his accelerated growth, there are more but i'm getting lazy and tired already.

last one. yesterday was nanay alice restauro's 65th birthday. the celebration was grand, almost wedding-like. being there gave me the idea of throwing my parents big bashes for their birthdays. in a way, the event motivated me to earn and save tons of cash to materialize the things i want to give my mother and father; i owe them everything and it would be great to give back in that kinda way. many people were there to celebrate nanay alice's natal day. childhood friend, nanay alice's grandson, tita bremie's son, jin ho was there with his beautiful wifey madel and their good-looking son. tita cora's son was there too, joem. it felt like it was just yesterday when joem would run around in his underwear. this is where i stop.

happy new year everyone!


judging from the looks of my blank itinerary, today will be particularly boring. i got to the end of the book i was reading last night. i want to buy a new book but i'm too lazy to go out and visit bookshops. so i'm glued here, blogging. tapping the keyboard and trying to put into writing whatever it is that comes to mind, just so i can fight the tedium.

boredom is hanging over me, which is why i've decided to try and light up the day myself. though i am not like a perpetually cheery smurf who whistles happy tunes while frolicking about in the woods, i will exert effort on doing something creative. whatever it is, it will just come around.

my sister (her again) is a subscriber of seventeen magazine. because she is generous enough to endure the pain of allowing her mag to hang around the pad with me for a few days, i am fortunate to read what my stars have to say (the magazine publishes monthly horoscopes, the issue is jan-feb so...). i am a sucker for horoscope reading. i enjoy it so much that sometimes i read it over and over again to the point that i had it memorized already.

for january, according to seventeen, i will be experiencing boy drama. clearly written, a cute new guy likes me but he is super shy. i, yes i, not him, will have the courage to make the first move on the 27th with the aid of mercury. what to make of it? hhhmmmm ... well, there's this guy i just met weeks ago. indeed he asked for my number. but wait, no, it could not possibly be him because he is nowhere near cute. and with that said, for sure i won't make the first move.

february. it says here that i will be subjected to both boy drama and guy love. what could this exactly mean? i have no idea. let me see, oh, here's the explanation. my stars say that i will meet a new guy that i am bound to really like. and he likes me too (well isn't that nice). the only pitfall, i'm already dating someone. but who could they be? hhhhmmmm... i don't know. but it would be nice to see if this really happens; it could be fun. hehehehehehe.

i would be much more interested if my horoscopes were about career and money. i know i can search for them on the net, but no, i won't; i want the ones printed in the glossy pages of the magazines. boys/guys/men ... it is the one topic that i don't give much attention to, especially that it seems like i have harbored the ill-fortune of attracting flaming imbeciles. oh enough of that already, it's beginning to sound hokey.

to further evade the tedium that is slowly creeping its way out, thanks to elvis presley and van morrison, here are some of the things i'd like to share about me.

yay me!

the coolest gadget i own is my ipod. it may be a little old but i still love it. because of its limited memory, i am able to do away with storing songs and videos that i don't like. it's little, slim and very handy that i bring it along even when i'm doing my groceries without fearing pickpockets.

jonathan strange and mr. norrell by susanna clark is the geeky book i had fun reading. go to my reviews to read what its all about.

my guilty pleasures are eating chocolates (dark only) and going to the salon for a foot spa.

my latest splurge was last december, when i almost used up all my shopping money on underwear. underwear, not lingerie. hehehehehe. it was a first since i usually spend a chunk of money on books and, sometimes, clothes.

whenever i go to the mall, my first stop would be in a bookstore. if that's not the first one i visit, i make sure that i give time to wound through bookshelves before going home.

favorite coffeeshop is starbucks, need i say more? some say the coffee bean is better because blah blah blah blah blah and more blah, but i love starbucks nevertheless.

yesterday, i bathed in freezing water. hopefully today the water wont be icy.

i am currently listening to elvis presley's burning love.

have a wonderful day!