SOMEONE told me that some of my posts are emo-ish. i really don't know why. hehehehe.
feb 14. valentine's day. HAPPY HEARTS DAY!
the first person who greeted was jaja. she sent me a text message around five minutes after midnight. jaja --- it was rather a suprise; we've known each other, but we're not really friends. jaja and i just see each other in class, sometimes we speak to each other and sometimes we don't. lately, we exchanged messages for updates regarding our class seminar, subject requirements and comprehensive exams pointers. but i honestly did not expect that she would, of all people, greet me on this day, let alone be the first one.
i woke up to a chilly, slightly drizzly morning at seven though i slept really late. i composed my hearts day message and sent it to practically all the special people in my phonebook. i slept again, feeling the dire need for it. i woke up again around nine, i checked my cellular phones. the other one, i had a message from my best friend and my sister, the other had one from kuya charles. i went straight to the laptop and started to make additional notes that would help me for the comprehensive exams. when i finished, i went down and ate my brunch. it was rather like the usual, ordinary days of my life --- like the day had nothing internationally special. it felt like i was living any other day. i checked my mail and my cyberspace accounts. my cousin sent me an e-gift, i sent her one too and wished her a happy day ahead. lola mother sent me a message, mum called, and that was it. lunch time: things felt too drab and mundane. my cheery mood plummeted. and suddenly i felt lonely. there was even a minute there that my brain entertained the thought of accepting the dates i turned down just so i can have somebody to celebrate this day with. hahaha it was a desperate thought, hahaha.
although since then, every year this occasion held nothing dramatic for me, i spent it with special people. though never had i experienced a mushy valentine's day, i celebrated it and i wasn't alone. valentines, after all, should be spent with the special people in your life, and being alone is somewhat a breach of its essence. maybe i was expecting too much.
to pull back my plummeting mood, i decided to hit starbucks to study. the thought got me all thrilled and the feeling of alone-ness washed away. as i was preparing my self, elle sent a message, asking where i was. i messaged back and told that i was on my way to starbucks to study and people-watch. it was still raining but i went there anyway. when i arrived, the coffeeshop was packed. and boy was i glad to see people. i recognized some of the thai medicine students from the university who lived near my pad. chao was also there, the korean med student who i became acquainted with back when i was still in college. other students were also there studying; some were just hanging out with friends. i found my spot and left my reading materials there. when i reached the counter, the barista gave me a sunny smile and we greeted each other. i ordered my white chocolate mocha, hot, venti --- ang kapal, nag-venti. but yeah, what the heck, i was not in my diet mode anyway. the atmoshpere was relaxing. looking at people, i realized feeling alone was wholly unnecessary. after a while elle texted and said he was coming that we can brainstorm. eric called and we talked for a few minutes; papa called too. after two hours, elle arrived and we studied, brainstormed, and chika-ed in between. went home around 11 pm.
wow, God did not allow that i'd spend this day alone. though this year's valentine's was far from dramatic and/or romantic, at least i spent it with a friend and i couldn't've asked for more :)
my day was totally unexpected. maybe i expected too much from the people i am constantly around with.
feb 15. comprehensive exams.
i slept late, again. the venti coffee got to me. i woke up early and felt funny. funny, i felt prepared :)
so i took the exams. it was draining, exhausting and very much tiring. the entire day i was making schemas, expounding theories and gave cases that supported it; eveything was all essay --- one question per page (letter-sized bond paper). we started at 8 and finished at 6:00 in the evening.
though i felt like life was sucked out of me, i was thankful to have endured everything. i was thankful because i had answers to all the questions. i was thankful for not cramming. i was thankful beyond words. i am thankful beyond words.
some random thoughts:
> slumdog millionaire --- WOW. it's a must-see!!!
> it's valentines and my starbucks cup is the wintercup. walang valentines cup? hehehe
> one thing my braces have taught me: we are always given the chance to correct our mistakes. figure out why :)
> japan's traditional tea ceremony is the one summary of the book "8th habit: from effectiveness to greatness" by stephen covey.
> gays owe a lot from harvey milk. every gay ought to know him. he was the one who fought for social acceptance and gay rights.
> i am single yet not love-less. alone but not lonely.
> people ask me why i don't have a boyfriend. answer: getting my self a boyfriend is not my top priority because i have the people who make it unnecessary to have one at the moment :)