--- baffled, tired and blunt actually. sigh.
i am stuck in the middle of suburban tedium while enduring long weeks of data gathering for my thesis. good thing i have my parents, and their connections, around. helped a lot. and i mean, A LOT. things wouldn't be as fast-paced as they are if it weren't for them. thank heavens for all kinds of divine intervention.
suddenly i feel choked, i don't know why. maybe it's because of the time constraint my continuing education is constantly placing on me ... and my friends as well. a month ago, we were at the brink of giving it all up. of forgetting about claiming another title that will (soon) be added after the two initials marking our license to practice the profession we chose. we were an inch or so close to not continuing. then again, we thought of what we went through and how we fought the battle. better judgment got to me: letting go just like buying candy for a penny is ridiculously unjust. so i'm here, treading the wheel until the most awaited month of graduation arrives. it's not anymore that long a wait all right.
tv has been my best ally lately. when i run out of leisure stuff to do, considering the fact that i did not bring any book with me, tv serves the purpose of annihilating monotony well; serves me well. because of this, i got to reconnect with some of the shows i follow whenever i go home.
first of, paranormal state. yes, i happen to like it considering my weird and peculiar ability that is that of a sensitive. not really a clairvoyant nor a medium, just a plain sensitive. my aunt has been telling me to close it and i was thinking about the option too. but, BUT, for some inexplicable reason that dawned on me yesterday, i am thinking otherwise.
and, rescue mediums. i just like watching jackie and christine, as they are good at what they are doing. that's it actually, hehehehe.
tv related ...
a few days ago, i came across an episode of pushing daisies. it was the first time to was able to watch an entire episode --- from start to finish. i liked it so much that i'm already asking people who might know where i can get complete episode dvds of it. i got hooked to it because of the show's fairytale-ish speck. it has a 'when i met genie' feel with a twisted-out-of-the-storybook theme. the narrator tops it all off; and it's also funny, in a quick-witted, geeky kind of way --- my cup of tea. i look forward to more interesting and surprising episodes.
mum and pops have suggested that i tweak a wee bit portion of my data. i knew it! the limited time would somehow taint the authenticity of my study. my perfectionist-OC mode plummeted for quite a while. but what can i do? i have FOUR DIFFERENT respondents, each with separate tools. i knew it! this wild goose chase and horse race would not permit the feasibility of my data gathering process. sigh. but anyhow, at least it's not a hundred percent deviation. oh well, it's what they say: when idealism sinks, pragmatism arises.
i opened my facebook account after a week or so of going OL MIA (online missing in action). but, i was greeted with a truckload of invitations. i got pissed for a minute there. i was hoping to find good and meaty stuff upon opening such, but nada. the most i got are these horrendously wholly unnecessary etceteras and it's irksome. lesson learned: do not do such horrid thing to others, now you know how it feels.
i miss my friends, especially my best friend.
i miss wounding and getting lost amongst bookshelves in bookstores (powerbooks and fully-booked ... i totally miss thee)
i miss having my "epiphany time". the kind where i enjoy the silence and indulge in deep thought, where no one else would be around but me. silence-and-me time.
i miss having my self trapped in the tapestry of the stories in books.
i miss sincere talks and irreverent, sarcastic humor.
i miss a lot of things actually. but after this pre-lenten, herculean sacrifice, it'll be worth it.
'til next time then... so long!
have a blast day :) !