May 28, 2009
my jampacked itineraries has contributed in my not being able to see the good little things around. and because as i said, i need inspiration, i really think that this project will help me a lot. two of my friends have been doing this already, aira and loida. and i want to become part of it; not because in a way, it is cool, but because i believe that i can find miracles even in the tiniest things i freeze in imagery. i really, strongly think that this will give me the spark my soul needs.
i will embark in this new little project after my short vaca. wish me luck!
visit this site if you want to know about the 365 days project: http://pjduane.blogspot.com/
b) i get an excuse to read and read the entire day and drink cups after cups of warm milk and coffee --- yummy!
May 17, 2009
theirs was a simple, elegant, intimate, solemn, blissful, happy and fun wedding. two thumbs up!
watching the wedding special last night in abs-cbn was like witnessing my dream wedding unfold. i had to remind myself to watch my jaw, as it slacked from time to time. everything was so surreal and just great.
their wedding is to die for, for me that is. i've never envied the grand and big weddings that have happened ever since i was aware of the beauty of the concept, but this got me soooo jealous --- in a good way of course.
i wish the couple the best of luck and happiness.
and i wish myself a love and a wedding like theirs, haha.
May 12, 2009
May 11, 2009
May 8, 2009
when things don't go the way we want them to,
Most often than not, I try to keep my attitude positive. Even if things are
going a little out of track, still I strive to maintain that optimistic smile
and keep the positive vibes in me flowing. It is one thing to be happy about
doing the things you love, and another about being happy when all of the things
fit just perfectly right in the end after all the hassle and
mini-disappointments.But one thing that really makes my heart happy, though it’s
just an incy-winsy-teeny-weenie thing that I didn’t notice until recently that I
happen to be doing sometimes, is the feeling of self-confidence and happiness
that I give to some people. I may have not really noticed it, but to my
surprise, in my own little ways, I have made those people happy, self-content,
and made them realize that they are the best versions of themselves.It feels
great knowing that you bring happiness to people, even just a little. After all,
matud pa nila sa bisaya, bahalag ginagmay basta kanunay.Bahalag saging, basta
happiness does not mean that everything is perfect, it means that you have learned to look beyond the imperfections life offers.
when life hands you lemons, make some lemonade!
be happy! ;p
my previous post stirred some of the people i know. people have been sending me messages, asking how i am and et cetera. they thought i was "broken hearted", that the previous post referred to me. it's amusing and entertaining, hehe.
first of, i am not referring to my self nor a very recent personal experience in the blog that i wrote. i have been single for quite a long time now, and believe me, i love every bit of it as it was a choice --- a choice i definitely did not regret. when i broke up with my ex, it was a mature decicion, i wanted to be an astronaut --- i needed more space (hehe). no matter how selfish this may sound my reason was, more space for me and "me time". secondly, a friend and i talked and rationalized her recent circumstance snd the fruit of it was very good. hence the inspiration for the blog. therefore, the previous blog is neither about me nor my experience :)
May 5, 2009
In relationships, breaking-up and finding another is inevitable. This is a seismic cyclical event that goes around until we have found the exact opposite made for us. But until then, everything is a trial and error, a fixture of mix and match.
The chapters squeezed in the middle of the titanic phrase “moving on” are probably the most tricky and thorny among other things in the relationship manual. “Getting used to being single” and “getting used to seeing the other with someone new” are different contexts with varying levels of difficulty. And whether you admit it or not, it takes colossal strength to pull together a superhuman feat to overcome them.
“Getting used to being single” is not synonymous to “being brokenhearted”. When you wake up and enter the day acknowledging the fact that the pronoun ‘you’ is not anymore plural, that’s what is meant by “getting used to being single”. There’s this knowledge that unlike the previous months or years, you will do things and go through them without that special someone to call or IM however things turn-out. It is the reality that the particular date of every year marking your togetherness is forevermore banished. It is going to events not anymore towing your plus-one. It is you and you alone. But no matter how sad at first this phase seems to be, it is also the time we get to re-connect with ourselves. It is, by far, the best opportunity to get-to-know and reassess who really are and what we want. It is the great time to be selfish. Me, me, me and more me.
When you finally do get a grip of being single --- you’re happy, you’re having fun, you feel absolutely superb and all that and et cetera, the big question now is this, “What will you do if you learned that your ex has found someone new?”
“Getting used to seeing the other with someone new” is entirely different from “being bitter”. But just because you felt a pang or twinge, it doesn’t mean you’re either bitter or jealous. This is just barely adjusting to the reality that once upon a time it was you. That you were the other half of your yin-yang. That it was you who completed the plurality of the relationship that once was. That’s just simply it. And this is where acceptance strikes in. It’s the route of hailing the fact that at one point or the other, separately, we will find another psyche, only that the timing is unpredictable. Most of the time, someone goes first while the other continues to search. But sometimes, the timing can be the same.
It takes a specific length of time to move on. No doctor can prescribe exactly how many days or weeks must be consumed before one can scream to the world, “I’ve moved on!”
I wrote this as a salute to all the brave hearts out there whose emotions have been shattered, but gathered all the courage to stand up and start moving on.
“How do you move on? You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back.”
– Mr. Frodo Baggins, Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien
Thank you E for the inspiration.
May 4, 2009
I went early, actually a lot earlier than I thought, to school to attend to matters with regards my schooling. I was being passed from one counter to another to verify some things, but as it happens, I was asked to come back two days after. It didn’t get to me though, as the day promised a sunny outlook.
Because my business in school didn’t take much more than an hour, I decided to head back to the pad and check my mail and my cyberspace accounts. After hours or so of lounging in front of the computer, completely immersed in both logical and illogical time killers, I decided to take my brunch. Fast forward to the next forty-five minutes or so, Chavs sent me a message asking me to join them at this local coffee shop in I.T. Park. So as not to be dramatically late, I compressed my hour of exercise into 30 minutes. Yes, you read it right, I’ve just started exercising as a result of being a bit fed up with the “OMG I can’t believe you’re fat already” comments. I’m trying to keep up with this tradition-in-the-making though.
When I arrived, both Chavs and Elle were in their scrubs. The reason for my being there (also Elle’s) was this: we have to help the other with his data tallying. I helped, well, a little. I screwed up twice, thereby repeating everything. Elle on the other hand did 75% of the task. It was all good fun, like giving me a treat --- I realized I needed to go out and smell the air of the outside world more frequently than what I thought I deserve. Everyone deserves a break, even in between the hustle and bustle of a mixture of backlogs, deadlines and blunders. We all are worthy of claiming a little sense and balance amidst chaos.
My sister and I exchanged messages and later that afternoon found myself sitting in front of her while she awaited for her turn to see the EENT.
Manel : The nurse in my duty this morning was so arrogant. She nagged and needled my ears off when the bottom line of her flighty mood was just for me to pay for what I discarded. I acted all out proper because I acknowledge the fact that I am there to be helped. She knew it was my first time of exposure in that institution and in that area. And to think, it was just over some cheap, little needle. She could’ve said her point without haranguing me.
Me : *deeply annoyed* Totally inexcusable. What kind of ethics and professionalism does she have? Why is she acting in that way anyway when her salary won’t be touched? Lucky you’re not like other students who would talk back. Because if you were, you would’ve told her that our parents are in the medical field, let alone Pa is both an IM and a surgeon. So basically we know how much it costs and can replace it with as many needles as she likes. It would’ve slapped her and shut her up.
Reality check. Today’s students are tomorrow’s colleagues. Therefore, those already ripe in the profession have no right to neither demean nor harangue students because these students might be better than them. What’s more, they started out as what, mere students too. And besides, the relationship is reciprocal. Students don’t go to school for free, they pay to learn. Especially in the medical and paramedical courses, a relatively high price is being paid for. Conversely, nurses in affiliated institutions have some share with the fee students are paying, hence they are paid to guide, supervise and teach the students. It is simple math, but some people wrongly estimate themselves, thus making this simple math null.
In the name of oblivion and a sort-of selective retrograde amnesia.
*Mobile phone ringing* I received an unexpected text message from my statistician.
GF : Ms. Maico, I haven’t received any e-mail with your data yet. My e-mail address is this …
Me : Oh crap, oh crap *getting a little panicky* … *suddenly realizing the awful truth* … I sent the e-mail to another address. This is humiliating! To think it was me who annoyed him that I sent my data already.
Oh no, I’m afraid I sent it to someone else’s mail. I’m very sorry sir. I’ll send it first thing in the morning. I really am very sorry, and thanks for the notice, sir.
GF : Okay lang …
Me : Okay … chill, chill. You saved the contents to be e-mailed in your stolen-from-Mum USB … Now, where’s that USB? … ?! ... *awful truth dawning again* … Oh shoot, I left it in … darn.
Ha-ha. Have you ever had experiences where you keep on budging people just to vent your trivial ‘achievement’ and it turns out there’s nothing there to show firstly? Haay. It’s one of those days. It’s awkward, right? Annoying yet charming. I can’t believe this happened to me … AGAIN :)
May 3, 2009
This topic has been puzzling me for quite a long time now, and no matter how hard i dissect it, still I can't come up with as good an answer.
Some of my friends and I overindulge, and sometimes, I admit, we go so far as to touching the money we don’t have. It’s crazy, I know, but it is retail therapy. But in spite of this path to wreckage, divine intervention and our guardian angels immediately zap us back to reality. And that’s the good thing about it. For some intangible reason, our reason straightaway builds a great wall to set our parameters before we fall into wholly irreparable damage. It’s one of those strange, inexplicable things that always happens to me and my friends and thank God and His minions for that.
Unfortunately some go way, way beyond the therapy overindulging gives. What I mean to say is, some people live a lifestyle they cannot even afford. They are living beyond their means. I don’t know, but the obvious reason for that is to climb the social ladder --- what else is there? Okay, so the real reason apparently enough is to be one of the people who are born, married, grossed into elite-dom. I know some who are and it’s just woeful because no matter how hard reality would hit them, still they pursue this senseless climb.
Having been a witness to their ‘efforts’, I can’t fully grasp the lengths they go through just to be one of the socially recognized glitterati. Let alone the somewhat delusion of grandeur they nurse and nurture. The sight is really outlandish and zany, because it’s like watching a person grasp for air to breathe. Like ‘glamour’ and ‘prestige’ is their version of the physiologic needs in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
I know it’s none of our business, but some of my friends and I could not just resist to wonder what good social glamour and prestige would bring these people. Aside from the fame and being an ‘it’ item, there’s really not that much. It’s okay for the naturally rich, famous and royal, as it is part of who they are --- they were born into it. But for those who aren’t, isn’t it kind of weird and crazy?
If a tomato wants to be an apple and tries to become one, wouldn’t the tomato look ridiculous? And even if the tomato gives everything just to be an apple, it doesn’t make any difference --- the tomato is still a tomato and will always be one.
I am trying to understand why some people just are, but it’s only making my head throb. The cause of the throbbing is silly. I know, I should just stop and leave things as is. Because maybe, just maybe, people being glitterati wannabes are part of keeping the world at equilibrium, and the circle of life, well … a circle.
May 1, 2009
A few days back, the person I gave a photo comment in Facebook got the wrong end of the stick, so I had to reduce everything into its simplest form and even had to translate it into vernacular --- as if I’m very, very good at it --- just to clear things up. This is the third time for me to be in this particular instance, and because I don’t want the numbers to add up, I’ve decided that this very recent incident would be the last. And I hope and pray that it will be.
One lesson I really need to learn: having the opportunity to speak doesn’t guarantee the privilege to be understood. Sad, but true.
Point to ponder #1: When communicating with people whose English is a bit shaky, hesitate and always keep in mind that making use of only the basic S-V agreement helps a lot. Tweaking and flourishing statements, let alone injecting idioms might not be appreciated. You’ll just end up being misinterpreted, and no one wants that.
I’m not saying that my grammar is as superior as others, but in as much as there are people who are really good and better than I am, there are also those who aren’t. I just have to accept that even friends of the same crowd don’t own the same knack.
Point to ponder #2: Words are powerful. Right, so being sensitive to a person’s level of vocabulary is also very important. Some people look like they know what they’re saying but the awful truth is, they don’t. Some do, but on the cloudy other side, some do not. They just try to keep with the façade to appear like a wordsmith and impress people. It’s a bit of a downer, but some of our friends are like that.
Point to ponder #3: Choosing the audience to communicate thoughts with is also a thing to be mulled over. In ourselves we are unique, and though different from one another, we share a whole lot in common with our friends. However, the love for philosophy and logic is not as pervasive a denominator. So the next time smarty-pants mode strikes in, pick the people who you want to smart talk and wit banter with. Because if it’s not being given that much thought, you’ll end up being misinterpreted or worse, misjudged.
For example, not all can tell the difference between “judging” and merely “saying what you’re seeing” or “stating the obvious”. Some mix them up while conversely, some get the entireties of each.
So you see a little caution will go a long way. We really don’t want to squabble with our friends over some small, lame reason, right? I/We just have to keep myself/ourselves in check. Avoidance will do the trick.