i feel so blessed.
God has manifested His generosity again and again. 90% of my current prayers and immediate needs have been answered. though there's still a remaining 10%, my confidence soars because of the comfort i take in the hard-earned belief that even dark clouds have silver linings. thinking about the things i've been through and the loopholes and backlogs i have placed upon my self and the countless blessings i've received through it all makes me feel so alive. alive, because i know that i am not alone in my life's journey. alive, because i know tomorrow's always a better day. alive, because every tunnel, no matter how dark, lonely and cold it is, has a tail that marks its end.
when i was still a little girl, i was told not to underestimate God's generosity. i never quite understood until now --- until 12 years later.
sometimes, we think that our human frailties make us unworthy of praise, forgiveness and love. because of this notion, the chains of the countless misdemeanors we have done in the past keep holding us back. and, because we condemn ourselves, we forget that God loves us in spite of our sinful nature.
this is what happened to me. because i am not what you may call a good child of God, i thought He abandoned me already because of my unimpressive behavior. then, i realized that that particular train of thought was wrong because He proved me wrong. now i know that even if i have done vile things, God forgives and is willing to forgive. and, even if i am not a devout catholic, He listens and answers my prayers if i just seek, knock and ask.
"Seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened, ask and you shall receive."