Jul 22, 2009

think about it!




July 15, 2009


Of all things flippant, a human being who doesn’t seem to have any ounce of responsibility left in his system is something and someone I greatly detest.


Everyone possesses the ability to lie, and everyone has politician tendencies --- the audacity of wearing a saintly face until time would exhume the foul facts hidden by the soul beneath the mask. Everyone is inclined. We all have weaknesses and we are all subjected to the frailties of human nature. But deliberately ruining chance after chance is sheer stupidity and imprudence already. And people encouraging such act by acting as blinkers are much more obtuse than what they think they already are.


Almost all kids and young to middle adults of today have a very vague sense of what their parents are going thru just to meet whatever standard there is of a well-provided household. They think that it’s okay for them to transform into a professional slacker because there are people who care and are capable of cleaning up their mess. They think that no matter how grave the blows and insults they throw at their parents, they’d still be given the chance every prodigal is given. It’s okay and it’s but normal; family always forgives, always grants chances. But what makes this notion awfully wrong is the undeniable truth that some think that it’s alright to be rash and immature and not try to be better because they can be forgiven again and again, mistake after another mistake. The ending: they cease to grow. The repulsive and irritating part of the story is the people who allow themselves to become accomplices. The people, who, instead of taking part in teaching the lesson, take part in covering the wrongs --- and they think they’re doing the right thing.


It’s a tiring act to help awaken these people’s consciences. To be in a thrown existence where you have a share in relentlessly beating the bullwhip of reality in the hopes of annihilating whatever delusion there is residing in their brains is exhausting. You are doing them a favor, yet they do not realize that it is not for some selfish personal ends, it is but for them and their future. You are trying to help give them a shot at a good tomorrow, but they refuse to think of tomorrow because they are allured with how they should live for today.


I just wish that more would open their eyes and become aware of reality --- that we are not in a la-la fantasy utopia. Living for the moment is not bad, just as long as you keep a sharp eye at the future.


Satisfaction today, sacrifice tomorrow. Sacrifice today, satisfaction tomorrow.

Jul 18, 2009

the t-shirt and the stain

last night, i was supposed to go partying after the fashion show i was invited to watch. i was getting ready for the two happenings i tried to squeezed in my seemingly occupied schedule (i had classes to attend to). but later that afternoon, i visited my mum --- she needed me. that visit made me realize that i could not go partying; i can only afford to watch the fashion show as it would end around 7:00 pm. i had to return to the place where mum was staying (she was in the city for work-related reasons) to attend to her. that was my version of compromise. from that decision, i tried to sms the people whom i have invited to the party and told them that something important --- because that was really important --- came up, and i could not just dance and drink knowing that my own mother needs me. i had to try be there for her. they replied by saying it was okay --- however genuine that was, i don't know.



after the earlier commitment, a friend and i had dinner. i tried to explain to him why i had to cancel the other engagement. and how he felt for my current dilemma, i could not, for the life of me, fathom and understand. it was like having a conversation with someone who owns only a speck of family values. i could not understand him. and of course, i was gravely disappointed in him and was royally pissed-off.



then, another friend thing came up. i still do not know him that much, but i consider him a friend. so this thing, it made me wonder his capability of understanding other people's situation, it made me ask the sincerity of everything he says --- of everything in him, of everything that is him.



sometimes, i'd ask myself why, when you make but a single --- miniscule mistake at that --- other people would make a big fuss out of it. why they tend to overlook the many good things you have done just because of that mistake. i don't really understand.



but of course, when a white t-shirt is stained with even just the size of a 25 centavo coin, we would notice the stain, not the shirt.

Jul 16, 2009

how was harry?



chaves and i were given invites to the harry potter and the half-blood prince block-off screening ... thanks again rey! going to my main point, how was the movie? you may ask. the movie was okay, it didn't have the oomph that washed over me as i read the book. of course no one could be blamed. when we read, we make what we want to make of it. when a movie adaptation of a book is made, there is no guarantee that our version of the characters, the series of events and how everything would look like would be exactly the same as that of the vision the movie-makers had in mind. but it was good. as rey said, "to each his/her own, let's leave it at that."


earlier this week, i learned that even people expected to be mature can give-off lame reasons when asked to justify certain acts and decisions.


i learned that impulse, or the submission to it, only generates headaches ... even in shopping.


and i also learned that smoking is life's cigarette. quit it! nicorette gums and nicotine patches help.


passion fish at bigby's is a very good craving crusher. go get one when you're having PMS and you don't really want to eat and gain a few extra pounds. believe me.


when your date takes you out to dinner or lunch at cyma, keep your eyes very open. their food can make you fall for your date ... and i mean it with every pun intended LOL ;p (peace, m!)






i'm recently craving for the city bakery's (3rd west 18th street, nyc) black bottom and several of their mouth-watering delights. but where to get one close to theirs here? hhhmmmm ...


it's the seasonal sale i've been waiting for for several months now, and i want to shop. but no, i can't, and why is that? it's because i'm at the verge of becoming broke. another end-of-the-month syndrome. i'm just glad i still have cash for several days' worth of eat-outs, cab fare and a little something for miscellaneous and emergency situations.


i am caught in between giving up and charging for more. i feel that i need to exert more effort to get what i want and make things happen. yet, i feel that whatever colossal effort i hand-out, i still wouldn't get to the foot of the pedestal i have long set my eyes on. frustrating. thank God for friends, and of course, family.


my bag needs a refill on luck, anyone? LOL


have a good day everyone! ;p


p.s. a happy, happy birthday to my dear friend, ARIANNE RAE!!!

Jul 15, 2009

...

i don't even know why i bother writing this.

lately, i have been too lazy to check any of my cyberspace accounts, let alone blog. i haven't even started posting random pictures for my 365 days photo project, as i have promised. boohoo. my usual preoccupations other than going online are still the same, nothing has really changed. i go on duty and have fun, i attend my classes and get bored and sometimes irritated when i'm constantly pestered by selected individuals, i hang out with friends --- eat, drink and sometimes party, i shop, i read, i still write on my journal and set aside several hours in a week for daydreaming. all but surfing the net remain. it's one of those days, when i'm constantly out, living, neither caring nor thinking about my life in cyberspace. just plain living, like the internet never existed.

because of my love for indie films and music, reading and oftentimes weird choices, a friend recently coined the term "socially withdrawn" to describe one part of my personality. this same friend also used the term to describe another friend of ours whom i share the same likes and choices. "to each his own," they say hehehehe. in our duty, there's this patient that everyone loves. he's old and refuses to use his false teeth. he's like everyone's grandpa. some of the people in my team shared to him our name-calling banter. and after a while, he joined, calling us "luth" and "bith" hehehehehe.

anyway, next week, there will be a french film festival, and my friends and i are definitely going. only a few people appreciate the art, hence the theaters are not expected to be full, which is a plus hahaha. one film event of which movies i am really itching to watch is the sundance festival. this year, maria and i are so looking forward to "500 days of summer" (joseph gordon levitt and zoe deschanel). because of the possibility that we might not get to see the movie on the week of, we are planning to hold our own version of the film fest. well, it will just be a movie marathon --- all the sundance entries we love, including the german movie adaptation of the book "let the right one in". at the moment, we are still waiting for the actual festival to partake so that we can download the films of our choice. i am so excited.

right now, i am waiting for the one employment prospect to push through. fingers crossed still.

:)

Jul 2, 2009

boredom rants

i am bored. and i know i am not alone in this solitude. whoever shares the same sentiments with me, here's to that enemy we really can't escape.


i really want to work five days a week, but no, i can't. as of the moment, i can only dedicate a day for work and two days for school. i haven't a fulltime job; well, i am waiting for the pushing through and finalization of that. i can not do anything but wait for just a few more months. and when that arrives, i'll be as busy as a bee. so, in a week, i only spend three days for whatever it is that keeps me busy. just three days. it gets pretty boring and sometimes the tedium rises to itch like hell, an itching some antifungi can't annihilate. that's what i'm experiencing right now.


i was trying to follow significant people's advices, to blog only about good, nice things. but i'm having a hard time following them, as you might've noticed. thing is, when i want to say something, i say it; and conversely, when i don't, i really do not. they say ranting isn't proper nor lady-like. but for whatever rule of etiquette there is against ranting, i say: to err is human.


just like every person, i too have various things and etceteras my entire brain is and gets fixated to. whenever i am engrossed on something, for some reason, i anticipate, look forward, get excited and, you know, just get giddy about everything. but of course not all things turn out the way we wanted them to be. matters as such halts my glee and somehow take some life from me. sudden and sad; like a soap airing on its last episode when all of a sudden the entire city is having a black-out. sudden, frustrating, sad. the light in me wanes, and boredom squeezes its way in.


one lesson i have learned today: it's no secret that the world isn't perfect, and for certain, it will never be.


the good thing about today is, even if i am swallowed by tedium, i learned something.