Jul 18, 2009

the t-shirt and the stain

last night, i was supposed to go partying after the fashion show i was invited to watch. i was getting ready for the two happenings i tried to squeezed in my seemingly occupied schedule (i had classes to attend to). but later that afternoon, i visited my mum --- she needed me. that visit made me realize that i could not go partying; i can only afford to watch the fashion show as it would end around 7:00 pm. i had to return to the place where mum was staying (she was in the city for work-related reasons) to attend to her. that was my version of compromise. from that decision, i tried to sms the people whom i have invited to the party and told them that something important --- because that was really important --- came up, and i could not just dance and drink knowing that my own mother needs me. i had to try be there for her. they replied by saying it was okay --- however genuine that was, i don't know.

after the earlier commitment, a friend and i had dinner. i tried to explain to him why i had to cancel the other engagement. and how he felt for my current dilemma, i could not, for the life of me, fathom and understand. it was like having a conversation with someone who owns only a speck of family values. i could not understand him. and of course, i was gravely disappointed in him and was royally pissed-off.

then, another friend thing came up. i still do not know him that much, but i consider him a friend. so this thing, it made me wonder his capability of understanding other people's situation, it made me ask the sincerity of everything he says --- of everything in him, of everything that is him.

sometimes, i'd ask myself why, when you make but a single --- miniscule mistake at that --- other people would make a big fuss out of it. why they tend to overlook the many good things you have done just because of that mistake. i don't really understand.

but of course, when a white t-shirt is stained with even just the size of a 25 centavo coin, we would notice the stain, not the shirt.