Nov 12, 2009

That's the spirit!

I found this written in a tiny piece of paper, sandwiched between papers of importance, all together stashed in my big day-to-day bag.

Our humanity is exhibited in the different emotions --- affect and mood that open us to the worlds of vulnerability and invincibility, unconsciously or otherwise. Hence we say, "I'm just human."

However, even if we are indeed imperfect mortals, that does not mean we have to allow ourselves to resign in our flaws. This should not stop us from reaching the stars. They say, "Great people are ordinary people with an extraordinary amount of determination" --- amen to that! As a matter of fact, the word "extraordinary" comes from two words: ordinary and extra ... but it is the "extra" that makes all the difference.


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For quite a long time now, I haven’t written anything smart nor worth reading. It’s not a writer’s block; it’s one of those uncanny events that occur like clockwork, many times in a year, debilitating my pursuit to better my writing. One day you’re writing escalates to that pretty-damn-good-creditable-to-be-proud-of level. The next, you’re back to being that mousy person who tries to write but can’t come up with anything close to adequate. Is it just me, or does this come to pass other people as well?

I pick up my pen and start to scribble in my journal --- nothing. I rest my fingers in the laptop’s keys; stare at the monitor, and still nothing. It’s just so hard to start something you have no idea where and what to begin with. This eerie motley emotion of feeling insipid, riled, fraught, poignant and dejected all at the same time has given me the margin to long for the days when I considered my writing good.

The month is about to end and I still got nothing in my hands good enough for posting, let alone, an application entry for the Stegner Fellowship Program at Stanford University. I envy my Uncle Bong for his staunch ability and dedication to the craft of writing, not that we both went to college to study the art of. You should read his blog and or his column, by the way; his material’s really good.

Speaking of getting into a formal writing school; sometimes I find myself at the brink of asking my parents to support this little yet grand, and seemingly lackadaisical, quest of mine. It’s funny how unrealistic dreaming attacks you time and again, unguarded. I have to constantly make a conscious effort to nail my bubble firmly on the ground.

Well, here’s to grabbing another shot at trying to become the better, if not the best, writer I could be. I may still be a novice at this, but I'm going to try. My inadequacy ain't stopping me (that's the spirit!). Great writers started out as, what, students. Zero to Hero, here I come.