Nov 25, 2009

When shrews fall in love


Even the most cynical, tough and heartless person can hurt badly when they fall in love.

I have broken up with guys. I've seen my friends break up with their better halves, and partners breaking up with them. Majority of break-up scenes turn out quite the usual: the kind where people lament over the relationship that was and could be, where Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' 5 stages of grieving can be applied --- (DABDA) denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance. This is the archetypal acknowledgement. Expected. However, only few breakups drive out straightaway recognition; one moves on and continues living, like no break-up ever happened. Quite rare actually, but something common to me and a handful of friends --- females, of course --- the "Summer Finn" types.


To those not in the know, "Summer Finns" are ladies who enjoy being free and independent. Women who love being single; attaching themselves to someone is not a problem and detaching is likewise. (For further reference, I suggest you do a little research on the following characters: Katharina the Shrew, Kat Stratford and Summer Finn)

So anyway, these "Summer" friends of mine, me included, we have never fallen in love. Never. But today, today was different. A treasured cold-blooded just took a bite from a slice of love's cake.

Lessons learned. Even if (for us Summers) enjoying is for the here and now and serious stuff are for later, no one really knows. We don't know when we will fall in love, we can't control its coming either. We will just know, and when we do, most of the time we are caught ill-equipped. No one is spared from the hurt and sacrifice that comes with love. Skeptics are not invincible, their hearts also bleed and break when pierced by a sword. Misanthropists, shrews, can be tamed. Someday, someone, or something, will do just that.

Another realization. Heartbreak is an odd kind of pain because you're not dying, you're not even sick. For all intents and purposes, you are perfectly fine. Yet inside where your heart used to be, you hurt so much that you can't breathe, you can't sleep, and you can't stop the tears from falling. You may eat too much, you may not eat at all. Non-smokers light up, non-drinkers find a bar. A broken heart is the world's greatest equalizer. Because it can bring the strongest man to his knees.

Indeed.