Mar 3, 2010

A dose of vitriol

Aja's leaving for the States this Friday, we're all going to miss her. So much. I feel so bad, I don't have a send-off present for her; and I can't join the girls (and guys) to the airport to send Aja off, because I'll be traveling that day too. I hope to see her again soon, really soon. I miss my friend already.

Leila, Ayeenda, and I have officially become "dudes". Let me give a direct quote from the movie, (500) Days of Summer, to explain how this happened.

McKenzie: [drunk] So do you have a boyfriend?

Summer: No.

McKenzie: Why not?

Summer: Because I don’t want one.

McKenzie: Come on; I don’t believe that.

Summer: You don’t believe that a woman could enjoy being free and independent?

McKenzie: Are you a lesbian?

Summer: [laughing] No I’m not a lesbian. I just, don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s girlfriend. I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything.

McKenzie: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Summer: Really?

McKenzie: Nope.

Summer: Ok, let me break it down for you–

McKenzie: Break it down!

Summer: Ok. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.

McKenzie: You’re a dude. [to Tom] She’s a dude!

Tom: Ok but wait–wait. What happens, if you fall in love?

[she scoffs]

Tom: What?

Summer: You don’t believe that, do you?

Tom: It’s love, it’s not Santa Claus.

You see? This is how we think, and this is what we believe in. Well, at least for now. But of course we have a slight idea of what's coming at us. We know that one day, someday, we will find someone who would completely, utterly, sweep us off our feet and make us fall deeply, madly in love. And when that time comes, we're going to hurt like or more than our friends. And, yes, maybe we will eat our words and be converted. We are well aware that it's to happen. Maybe not today, but soon. It is truth acknowledged that cynics or non-believers don't stay the way they are forever. They change, because people do change.

On other matters ...

The truth bites, it hurts.

My sister and her debating team are now in the final four of the National Debate Tournament. So technically, they are one of the country's top four debate teams. Such a historical accomplishment not only for our university and the team, but also for the entire region.

Updates and progress on how they are doing in the nationals I post on my Facebook account (Facebook again). Not only because I am damn proud of them being my sister's older and only sister, but also because I owe people an account of their ladder success. I had to inform their friends, including the people who know them, of their state. And because not everyone's in Twitter, Facebook is obviously the most practical way to go.

Yesterday, I posted the debate team's triumph as my status. Many liked and commented, saying their congratulations and wishes of good luck for the final round. I replied to my sister's fellow student council officer, giving him a summary of what the team went through: that they had less than 24 hours to make and complete their speeches, let alone to practice; with only an hour of sleep, they still managed to pull-out their magic, and the date of the championship. That was all. I had the luxury and every right to do so, it was my wall after all.

Then this gay person I know managed to poke his nose in and gave quite an unfriendly, sour, and sore comment. I was sort of disappointed at his lack of etiquette and breeding. Without any intention of hurting his feelings, I spoke my mind and commented back: "Well, it's not my problem anymore. This is MY wall. You're just dipping yourself in." In my defense, I was just saying the truth. It was my wall and I can post whatever I want as long as they don't break the rules of conduct. Then he commented back that he was miffed by my reply and all that. So I told him that I was merely pointing out a fact universally accepted about personal walls. Then he answered back, "If you don't like it, you can just delete it or delete me in your friends list. My comment is my comment". I didn't bother to reply. What for?

Wait a second ... Was the vitriol unpleasant? *sarcasm thick*

So maybe he was insulted by what I wrote. And, yes, I admit, I have a sharp tongue --- I speak my mind, sometimes maybe too much. But the thing is, practicing a little respect and manners wouldn't hurt even just once, right? I have never, and I would never do what he did. I think sharing other people's happiness wouldn't burn a person. I just don't know why a friendly remark wouldn't do. Maybe I really did give him a dose of his own medicine.

Saying the truth is something I do. Was his ego just shattered because he didn't expect me to write something he anticipated --- a meek reply, like a "Ha-ha"or a "Whatever"? It might be that I caught him off-guard. Or did I break his pride when I pointed out a sheer truth, which at that point, he can't accept? Or was karma astonishingly fast? Was he unable to bear the taste of his own medicine?

Before playing with fire, make sure you are flame-proof. Sometimes we say things, only to end up eating what we said; or worse, slapped by it. Reality bites. The truth is acidic. Giving remarks should be handled with caution. We don't want to be fried in our own oil. And we don't want a mortifying experience of ingesting our own bile, do we?

I hope this serves as a reminder. Enjoy your day! :)